Bisu

Bisu. 

Hakikatnya, dia yang gagal bersama al-Quran adalah dia yang teruk. Bagaimana dia bisa berjalan hari ini, sedang satu kalam Ilahi pun tidak dipetik dan dihayati....

"Seseorang yang tidak bersama al-Quran itu aib", terngiang kata-kata Syeikh.

3 days of challenge without internet

Dengan perancangan Allah rupanya internet bundle abis hari nie. Jadi dah xdpt online betul2 baru rasa nak bersyukur nikmat dapat online sebelum ni. 

Xperlah boleh fokus betul2 3 hari berbaki utk buat pecutan paper 2. Lepas kira-kira 14 hari sahaja lagi nak abis exam. So zakiah perlu bertahan 14 hari jer dulu. Lepas nie mesti rindu nak study. Pasni dah xde exam cuti memanjang confirm susah nak bukak buku. 

Hopefully, pasni zakiah xlepas baca buku medik setiap hari walaupun sedikit. Dah faham elok2 dah tinggal nak ingat dan revise sentiasa supaya xlupa jer. 

Umi send message cakap 66 hari je lagi umi nak datang alex. Zakiah kena sabar. Ini pilihan zakiah yang terbaik dah zakiah buat dulu. I should not let my mother worry. Tp lepas bgtau umi baru rasa tenang sebb tahu umi dan abah ada doakan zakiah. 

So for these 3-4 days kalau nak online pakai internt dekat bibliotheca jer dulu k. Xder apa yang urgent pun nak settle. Just focus on my study. Ok girl. Sep sikit. 🙆🏻🙆🏻🙆🏻🌸🌸🌸🌸

Himnae dearself. 

Hidayah

 

Dalam aku ralit membaca sambil mendengar muzik, ipad ku memutarkan satu nasyid syair hasil tulisan Iman As- Syafie. Terdapat satu baris dari syair itu yang berbunyi 

"الست الذي غذيتني وهديتني"

Dalam maknanya yang bermaksud "bukankah Engkau yang memberi ku makan dan memberi ku hidayah?" 

Akan ku amati makna pesan ini sebaik mungkin. Insyallah. 

Al Marai

They are part of my journey for being me. Thank you friends for staying together. 

Love u. You ll be in my prayer as long as Allah permit me good health. 

Al Marai its the journey of hardship of 4 young sailors of the Meditteranean sea. 

Our last gathering. 

Walla. Your my loves. 

Almarai yogurt. :) 

Mesir dan Malaysia kita satu jiwa

Fault

There was this one day, when i was ranting myself on one issue and asked myself, "is this a test or a punishment from Allah? Is this my fault or my fate from Allah?" 

I go through the videos searching for the answer. And i found one ayat from suratul Ali-Imran verse 165 reveal during the War of Uhud. It was a revealation answering the question of mukminin when they were asked to stay on the Uhud during the battle but when they saw the enemy withdrawing from the battle field and they started to go down the hill. Finally, the soldier of Islam lost in Uhud because they disobey Rasulullah S.A.W. 

It was their fault. Because they disobeyed. But they question it in the ayat: 

[Dan mengapa kamu (heran) ketika ditimpa musibah (kekalahan pada Perang Uhud), padahal kamu telah menimpakan musibah dua kali lipat (kepada musuh-musuhmu pada Perang Badar) kamu berkata, “Dari mana datangnya (kekalahan) ini?” Katakanlah, “Itu dari (kesalahan) dirimu sendiri.” Sungguh, Allah Mahakuasa atas segala sesuatu.] Ali- Imran:165 

Syeikh kata, manusia nie ada yang terlalu extreme pada Allah, semua benda letak itu adalah ketentuan Allah. Boleh, tp bila melampau ia akan melahirkan manusia yang tidak sedar diri untuk berusaha. Ketahuilah, bila sesuatu perkara itu tanggungjawab kita, atau sesuatu itu dalam bidang kuasa kita untuk menguruskannya, jika gagal kerana kita tidak bertanggungjwb, kita tidak kontrol dgn baik, maka itu silap kita. 

Syeikh kata, jaga adab dengan Allah. Dont blame your defect on Allah. Kalau sikap kita yg mcm tue xselayaknya nk minta kejayaan dr Allah. So please improve. 

Syeikh terang lagi, ada org dia terlalu extreme pada diri sendiri. Semua benda salahkan diri. 

"Oh, ini mesti sebab ada dosa-dosa yang saya lakukan", boleh, tp bila melampau ia akan melahirkan manusia yang tidak tunduk pada ketentuan qada dan qadar Allah. Ketahuilah, bila sesuatu perkara diluar bidang kuasa kita, segala usaha sudah kita buat jika gagal itu kerana

 Allah uji kita. Kemalangan kereta dalam keadaan kita sudah menlaksanakan ciri-ciri keselamatan yg penting, silap, kalau kita tetap salahkan diri kita, itu dari Allah,,when it is put of our control. 

Dont blame yourself for all the deficiency. 

Know where your limit. Dan sentiasalah bersederhana. Do your responsibility, in things you control. Believe its a test from Allah when it is something out of your control. 

Pesanan penting: all and all, apa pun jadi, apa pun masalah kalian please study everyday. Plan ur work and study. Masalah dlm kerja tell me and mari kiat selesaikan sama. If i know any of you not revising ur study in one day, you will have to hear kakak membebel sepanjang hari. Siap korang. Semua org dah masuk fasa kerap exam every two weeks utk medik and everyweek utk dentist, so please study. Yg round dua bulan and sebulan, also please study. No exception given. No excuse.

Dont give up

"Why did u never give up?", tanya sasuke satu hari lepas final battle mereka berdua. Sasuke mesti pastikan dia lebih kuat dari Naruto. Tp x, dia kalah jugak dgn naruto yg xpernah mengalah tarik dia balik ke pangkal jalan. 

"Because its hurts so bad, that i cant ignore you", said naruto. Its hurts to see people that we loved hurts. just because we give up, we actually hurt them more. I did once and i know the suffer. 

Dont give up. Stand up and be strong, lets help them heal. 

The one i was afraid most to hurt if i gave up is my mother and my father. So do you right. Just please dont. 

Fighting for CCC all dear final year dental sisters. 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 you can do this. 

#roadtopasirmas

Chingu i love you

Since i cant help you, i didnt want to hurt you some more, chingu. 

No matter what people see or say, but because this way i can love you without hurting you then i will just stay at this distance as long as it make you happy. 

A joy for me can be a pain for you, 

A pain for me sometimes be joyyed for you, 

But i can never lie more, 

A word from me may be a different meaning to you, 

The best action in my may always be wrong to you, 

My silent can also be wrong to you, 

My present and absent can also be wrong to you, 

See how many things can i do wrong to you, 

So i should stop and go, 

For i always will hurt you, 

For what i do can never be right but hurting you heart, 

But i can never lie more, 

To be happy when i was not. 

Automatic Thoughts

I thought for a night. That i should stop writting in facebook again. 

I distract my focus. I feel to happy to share with people but it just dont right because i feel doing it all the time, when actually i had other important thing to settle on time. 

I told my mother i cant focus on my reading. And somepart of me wanna lazy around and i didnt feel the eager to know the knowledge again because i think i have read the book and i already know. But i still forget it in the exams, so i should read. 

I think its because i shared all my life in facebook that i didnt save part for myself to be secret. Then i will solely attach to the worl i made. 

Lord please guide me back to you. I am heading in the wrong direction. 

Plus my ATs or automatic thought starting to grow bigger and bigger. 

I need to record it, rasionalize, and respond it well not by updating status because that will make worst. 

Ok. I need to start reading my books again. Focus and stop and stay away from public for a atleast a 3 weeks plus minus. 

Remember, i wanna be a doctor. And actually i had a dream that i wanna get A for internal medicine as a gift for my parent. But everything seem harder now. But i should not give up. 

I must study hard and get As. This is my last chance. Lord help me too. Help me please. Even i study i still forget and then the question sheet will be so difficult for me. Im afraid lord. Please help me. Please. 

I cant never get A without you. Because you are the Only to do everything compare to my small effort. 

Lord pleaseee. I need your help. 

T__________T 

 

Hiroshi

Almighty. Grant us a huge dose of hope. There's so much pain in the world that it's easy to feel helpless. Guide & protect us all the way. -Mufti Menk 

The tree of Sabr

"Hajar...", panggilan itu tidak bersahut

"Hajarrrrrr....". Masih. Naik senoktah. 

"HAJAR!", pemudi di sudut bilik itu terperanjat. Seolah baru mamai dari mimpi. Atau ruh yang baru masuk kembali ke jasad setelah mengembara ke alam fantasi. 

"Ya saya, ada apa?" 

Reena mencebik tanda protes. Dia membatalkan niat ingin bertanya soalan. Mimik muka itu membuat Hajar tersedar akan tindakannya yang telah mengecilkan hati sahabatnya itu. 

"Meh sini, duduk sebelah aku" 

"Whats now?", Reena berjalan tanpa mood. 

"Look at this picture. What do you think its mean?...", Hajar menunding jari ke potret kecil tertampal disebelah katilnya. 

"...Describe it in one sentence" 

Reena diam membantu. Matanya bersinar-sibar mencuba memerah idea. 

"Life and death? No. Bad and good. No. Have no idea. Different people will percieve differently because we have different point of view", dia mengalah akhirnya. 

"I see a tree as a symbol of life, and life could be shady like the right half or not better than dead like the other half..." 

"....dalam al-Quran Allah sebut tentang perkataan yang buruk ibarat pokok yang mati, tak beri apa-apa manfaat. It you put action, intention, or anything into the context it give the same meaning. Bad action is like dead tree, being useless in life is not better than dead.", balas Hajar. 

There is this one tree i will like to grow. The tree of 'sabr'. But this tree will never grow unless watered by the pure imaan. Untill i found the sacred water of imaan, the sabr tree will never grow bigger and shady up to the sky. 

"Kau tahu, aku ada sepohon pokok tauge dalam hati nie..." 

"Apa?", Reena berkerut tidak mengerti. 

"Hahahaha" 

"Apa kau tak cukup sabar ke selama ni? Aku tak pernah nampak kau marah pun. Arab buat macam-macam pun kau still nak bersangka baik dengan mereka. Aku yang kena dengan arab pun rasa panas hati tau kau bela dia", Reena meluahkan perasaan yang disimpan. 

"Oh really! Jadi selama nie kau marah la aku backup arab yang menyusahkan kau? Tak pernah cakap pun..." 

"Well...", Reena mengangkat bahu tanda memberitahu tidak semua perkara perlu diluahkan. 

"To be honest to say, aku nak minta Allah beri aku kesabaran dalam melawan nafsu yang sentiasa nak biat maksiat. You know the feeling of falling down so many time and u had to get up and start all over again and again. Aku manusia juga. Sebab tue aku cepat lupa."

Silent. Tidak pernah Hajar meluahkan perasaannya seperti itu pada Reena. 

"Hahahahaha!!!!", Reena ketawa. Hajar hanya memandang pelik. 

"You know, if and only if i can help you water the pokok tauge tue or anything that i can help tell me okay? Aku memang jenis yang rajin siram pokok bunga mak aku", Reena berseloroh seperti tak cukup nafas. Dan mereka ketawa dek lagaknya. 

Lord Help us every time we fall. 

Nukilan, 

_Hajar 

#roadtopasirmas