Wednesday, July 6, 2011

whisPeR Of ThE hEaRt 2

Dear little heart,

Do u still remember that I so-to-ory with u about the practical exam. Alhamdulillah I was so motivated after that to work harder on MCQ. Demo, I cant run from reality that I cant istiqamah to work hard all those 3 days. I again broke. Even u wanna say I am weak for being broken everytime. Whatever u like plis do as u plis but do put in ur knowledge that yes this the weakness of human being. Being like a wheel. Sometimes up and then goes down n up again. Rotating. Plus human or insan is created by Allah for being forgetful. Yes it is a weakness but didn’t u know the secret lies behind.

Alhamdulillah. Wahai kekasih-kekasih Allah bergembiralah saat kamu sedih. This is because Allah creates the feeling of weak specially for us so we will seek for Him. SUBHANALLAH. Beautifully created. The greatest creation. And the best model of the greatest creation is our rasul, Nabi Muhammad S.A.W.

That days that Allah destined me to work hard and again broke was 1st not a nice day but in fact after I again search for calmness with reading His words.

Asking Him,

“ya Allah tolonglah zakiah utk istiqamah. Tolonglah jgn jadikan diri ini cepat berputus asa…ya Allah”

I again told myself that I would read the 3rd ayat on the right pages. Ya rabbi…

But when I 1st open and read the 3rd verse I found that it was not something inspired me. So I open again the quran and then one again. Till the 3rd time, my finger slip open the 12th verse in Surah Hud.

[ maka boleh jadi engkau Muhammad hendak meninggalkan sebagian dari apa yang diwahyukan kepadamu dan dadamu sempit kerananya, kerana mereka akan mengatakan, “mengapa tidak diturunkan kepadanya harta kekayaan atau datang bersamanya malaikat?” sungguh engkau hanyalah pemberi peringatan dan Allah Pemelihara segala sesuatu. HUD:12 ]

Bila baca ayat nie mesti bleh nampakkan yang rasulullah tengah sedih dan sudah hampir berputus asa kerana diejek dengan ejekan2 yang berbagai dari org2 yang mendustakan ayat Allah. Nah, little heart it is here that I see those words that when rasulullah feel like giving up Allah knows and He who Tell the stories to rasulullah on the rest of verses of the surah about the ummah before us with their rasul that Allah send. All of the ummah denied their rasul and Allah send them the bala’ except small part of them. At the final part of the surah there is ayat or verse that explain the story told.

[dan semua kisah-kisah rasul yang kami ceritakan padamu Muhammad agar dengan kisah itu Kami Teguhkan hatimu, dan didalamnya telah diberikan kepadamu segala kebenaran, nasihat dan peringatan bagi orang yang beriman. HUD:120]

Allah says “dengannya Kami Teguhkan hatimu” yang mana member maksud Allah menenangkan hati rasulullah yang sedih. Yang mana memberi erti pula “Allah sentiasa berada disisimu agar rasulullah x sedih dan kuat ”

Little heart here and out there, in this up and down life Allah is always with us not only when we are down but moreover when we are flying up high above. When the ph

ase of feeling give up came remember this, Allah with u. jangan bersedih teruslah berusaha. Saat rasa itu datang lagi, gembiralah dalam kesedihan mu seperti yang telah ana cakapkan awal tadi. Took rasulullah as our model, when rasulullah feel like giving up, he ask for Allah help, pray for Allah. Sebab ada akak cakap kite ada sunnatullah and nasrullah.

There came sun after the sky fill with cloud…that because cloud is the the carrier of hopes…hehe ><

Fullstop: 0454/24062011

whisPeR Of ThE hEaRt


I cant wait to tell about my study leaves all along in the hostel. Yes hostel but perhaps u know little heart its full of happiness!!! Yay!!! It teach me many things and it’s a place for the brave 1st step I took in my long phases of learning. I tell u later about the hostel. Let me tell u 1st the days.

We were given 3days leave before practical exam and another 3days for the MCQ. Its not a long study week for examination. Time will never be ENOUGH!!! But I was the one responsible to go beyond the time not waiting and after it. RUN BEFORE TIME!!!! even so, time still is not enough! Fuuuh… so when the day came for pract exam, I was very afraid. I stayed silently deep in my heart. Try to talk with u or any chance that u heard me already? Naah…even yes I’m telling you.

I prayed to Allah and I prayed deep in my heart

“oh mom dad do pray for me at home…mom and dad will always pray for me. So that’s why I need to do the best and never give up till the end….”, I break br

oke and was broken once back there. I was really sad and afraid of the exam…why must i? I don’t know but burst …

flashing back to my old high school days. My form 1, I brok

e to my 1st sister, form 2 I burst to my mom and the rest is history… so even back there I break, broke and was broken but… with mom and kayon! Here in this far far away land, I’m longing for them and my loves.

But you know what little heart,

what is special in islam is Allah is the Only Lord. I have Him back there, now and for ever. He who made me strong and stronger. He inspired me to take the Quran and recite. Oh my Lord, do calm my heart, do give me strength always and everytime I feel week… then I recite the Quran. Finally I said my prayer, “oh Allah do show me the ayat which can give me strength…pliz ya Allah” with my heart begging only to Him I open the closed Quran and said “I’ll read the 3rd ayat on th right

pages…with the name of Allah the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful…”

[barangsiapa menghendaki kehidupan dunia dan perh

iasannya, pasti Kami Berikan balasan penuh atas pekerjaan mereka di dunia dengan sempurna dan mereka di dunia tidak dirugikan. Itulah orang-orang yang tidak memperoleh sesuatu di akhirat kecuali neraka, dan sia-sialah disana apa yang telah mereka usahakan di dunia dan terhapuslah apa yang telah mereka kerjakan. AL-HUD:15,16]

Again I was break.

Allah u send me a great ayat. Pliz accept my repent. Apologize me for taking life as dunia. Allah make me strong and stronger, help me in my examination tomorrow for my examination fil akhirat ya rabbi…thank you Allah for whatever it be I know now its not for the dunia its just a bonus but the redha from u I seek for akhirat.

“after I work and strive, only to You I rely…ya Rabbi ”