Dear me

Dear, me. 

I was always broken into pieces while hiding behind the shadow of joy

I was never regreted for i what Allah chose for me, but what regret most is what i have been chosing to do all this time along

17/12/2013

Todays it is raining...raising the joy in my heart. Allah sure know how to make me

happy because i loves rain very much. Since ilove playing in the rain. But not here in egypt as people will see like crazy. But iwoke up late at 9.00...since i take my sleep afterbsubuh prayer which i perform at 5.45. What a lame things to do. Even so, Allah send me His gift by the rain. It must be because of His love to ulama, n i can also feel the share

Today i slept alot, i wonder where goes all my worries...almost three times today...in the morning i slept, in the afternoon i slept, in the evening is slept, in the nigt i wonder if i slept again. Oh dear me, do you think u have change? Wheres ur changes? Ur qiam had become worsen, ur doa had become shorter, ur sujud had become shorter, so wheres ur tawakkal? Oh Allah dont leave me far behind. If this is ur trial from u, hen let me win with my iman increase. 

I hope i read many pages today...ya Allah help me in my revision and grant me success

Ya Allah hilangkan hati ini dari berburuk sangka thdp sahabatku. Ya Allah kau jaga adik2 ku dlm jagaanMu, mahu aku tunjukkan pada mereka jalan yg tbaik disisi Mu ya Allah. 

20/11/2013

Today i was high spirited. Suddenly Allah took away all the hppiness i was the morning.  I dont know why. But i know did omething wrong, that my heart felt burden of it. I hate when i do wrong. Oh ya Allah, please look after me, i dont to do it again. If i did wrong please let me know so that i didnt do it again. Today i wake up late for fajar prayer, then i did some washing n cleaning n my fren help me, or me they feel burden with so, so i shuld never did that again. N i pray that no riak in my heart for doing all the chores. Oh ya Allah. I want to change. N then i eat three times today. I promise to eat twice tomorrow n later change to once daily. N then the tazkirah i gave tonite i was a little bit nervous as i was not prepared. So i shuld prepare next time. N for the my friend i hope i didnt disturb her life. 

14/8/2014

Dear Allah, today i was no longer someone yesterday. Alot of things happen this days and i know even ive being hurted so many times, even i feel like hating people 

8/9/2014 

Ikhlas adalah sesuatu yang sukar...yang mungkin baik awalnya namun diakhiri keluhan. Ikhlas itu terhapus. Yang mungkin awalnya tidak redha namun diakhirnya sebuah kemujuran. Ikhlas itu diragui. Banyakkanlah beristighfar sahabat.